Youtube Favourites - Jenna Marbles

I'll preface right now: -

Jenna Marbles will not be to everyone's taste.  For instance, if you're particularly anti-bad language, she's not the Youtuber for you.

Me?  I find her absolutely hilarious.  She says what women my age are thinking, but don't get around to saying, or documenting in an amusing fashion.

Following on are my top 5 Jenna Marbles videos.  In no particular order, because that would be just too hard.

1:  How Girls Pack A Suitcase

Some highlights:
"Dresses.  Coz I'm a fuckin' lady."
"Some flippy floppies."
"Some tampies."

2:  How Girls Get Dressed

Some highlights:
"This shirt smells like pee!  I wander who did that?  *looks at dog*  You fuck-face."
"I guess I'll just wear this sweatshirt... the same sweatshirt I wear every day..."
"It's not raining out."

3:  I Hate Being A Grown Up

Some highlights:
"You just had a baby?  Congratulations.  I looked at pictures of cats today."
"Mum!  What's for dinner?  Oh yeah, that's right.  She doesn't live here."

4:  How Diets Work

Some highlights:
"Nothing like a hot delicious salad..."
"I'm fucking starving."

5:  My Epic Halloween Costume

Some highlights:
Not a comedy video per se, but still fun!

 

How To Be A Grown-Up

About 18 months ago, I started my own list of things it is handy to keep in mind in order to be a good pretend-adult.  Basically, things I encountered and thought "I should remember that".
Leave a comment if you have any good tips of your own.   :)

This is it:

Any courier firm is pretty much guaranteed to screw up any delivery.  Keep a note of the decent ones, and avoid the bad ones like the plague if you can.

At work, don’t offer opinions unless specifically asked to do so.

At work, if new, be quietly polite.  Trust no one.  Don’t worry right away about making friends.  Talk to plenty of different people and see who you click with.  Trust your gut, but when an old-timer in the workplace gives the stink-eye or makes close-to-the-edge comments about someone else…  Heed the warning.  Both of them should be given a wide berth until you have time to make your own judgment. 

That one member of staff who has been nothing but lovely/friendly/charming to you, but about whom no one else has a single good thing to say, should probably be avoided.  Put them in your mental box of “people I can smile sweetly at, but must be guarded around”.

Perfect the “staff meeting face”.  It means a neutral expression for the most part, but try and make eye contact with whoever is speaking, nod thoughtfully and go “hmmm” from time to time.

If you’ve bought something a few times and decide you just don’t like it… stop buying it “just to try”.

The above rule applies mostly to tea and porridge.  You don’t like them.  Ever.  I have a weird thing about buying both of them occasionally, just to see if I suddenly like them.  I don’t.

Any food that comes in any sort of Christmassy packaging, other than established brands of chocolate or sweets, is usually awful.  Save that craving for bacon-wrapped sausages and mozzarella sticks for another time.

Don’t save important things to “do tomorrow”, because you’ll forget or something else will come up that means you can’t do it.  Do them now.

Don’t rely on the internet to work tomorrow either.  Send that important email/do that important work thing right now.  It’s just easier.

Always keep a pot of change in the house, and keep it topped up regularly.  £2 and 50p coins are both good ones to save.  I have pots of both.

Similarly, a purse in the glove compartment of your car with a few quid inside can only be a good idea, and is perfect for unexpected parking fees/service station coffees.  Just remember to take it out when the car goes to the garage for its service.

Keep your own records.  Days worked, money paid, cancellations, anything important.  Don't rely on an employer to remember how much they owe you.

Set up an adult filing system for important documents that would make sense to your mum in the case of an emergency.  That pile on top of the bookshelf is not a filing system.

Get phone credit before you run out.  22p remaining is not enough.

Never say “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”  You won’t. 

If you have holiday time and want to take an actual holiday that involves travel, money and effort, always do it in the first half of your break if you get the chance.  NEVER the last half.  Do that and you’ll just feel disgruntled and like you’ve not had a break, however lovely your actual holiday was.  It turns out that the most restful place to be is your own home.

The ring road, may be further, but it’s ALWAYS quicker than driving through the town centre.

Don’t go to supermarkets on Saturdays, unless you plan to be there before 8am.

Always do the washing up on the day you make the mess.  Because you’ll hate it So Much More tomorrow.  A dirty kitchen in the morning is horrible.

Take that little pile of recycling to the bins every time you have a bin bag to chuck out.  So much easier to manage than a massive pile once a month.  The same goes for other bins around the house.  At least check them before going downstairs.

Fill up the windscreen washer before a winter drive of any length, particularly if it’s rural or involves motorways.  You’ll be pleased you did.

If you’re not sure whether to say that thing to that person.  Not saying it is probably the best thing to do.  Or at least make a decision to sleep on it or save it for another time.

Always carry painkillers and lady products (if you’re a lady!)  Just in case.  There’s nothing quite like a nagging low-level headache to ruin an otherwise lovely meal out with friends.

If a social occasion comes up that you aren’t 100% sure you are going to enjoy… drive there.  A car is a perfect get-away vehicle for when you’ve had enough.

Don’t go to parties when you only know the host.  Even the most outgoing person in the world would hate that.

Chuck some bleach down the loo once a week.  Again:  Easier.

Buy new loo roll when you start on the last roll of the previous packet.

Have that list in your head of “Things You’ll Need Until You Die”, that you can stock up on if you see them on a great special offer.  For me it’s washing up liquid, toothpaste and hand wash.  Things that won’t go out of date.

Try and do at least one thing every day that makes your living space nicer.  Even if it’s just “straighten out that row of shoes”.

Be the person who reaches out to friends first.  When you think, “wow, I haven’t spoken to Sarah in a long time”, be the one who emails first.  Then at least, come what may, you’ll know you did your part.

Try and maintain your house with a frame of mind that “I’m moving out in 3 months” (even, and especially, if that’s not true).  That’ll help keep the clutter at bay and you’ll become an expert of getting rid of that junk you’ll never use or need.

Ebay stuff like DVDs and computer games.  They will sell quite well.  Yeah, you can freecycle or donate most other shit.  But when time or mental resources are low, feel no guilt about throwing the lot in the bin.  If you are hanging on to something because “I should try and sell that”, it’s usually better to just chuck it out.

Actually, it’s usually better to just say nothing.

Choral Bucket List = Achieved!

For as long as I'd been aware of them, there were a few choral classics that were firmly on my bucket list of "pieces I'd love to sing one day".

When I lived in Newbury, it just so happened that one of the oldest amateur choirs in the country rehearsed every week 10 minutes walk from my house.  It was the type of choir that took itself terribly seriously, hired the best conductors they could afford, gathered soloists from the world-famous early music vocalists, "The Sixteen", and had "Seasons".  All terribly serious and very fantastic.

Now, they say that being able to read music isn't a requirement.  Hmm... beg to differ!  I can read music well, and struggled.  Those early rehearsals, I didn't know if I was coming or going.  These were dead serious pieces we were learning, that first concert I prepped for was "opera choruses", just to give you an idea.

To sing in English was unusual to say the least.  We did a lot of Latin, a lot of Italian, some French, some German, and some English if we were lucky!  I loved the Latin and Italian and actively disliked the German, too hard and not phonetic!


Now, ticking away in the back of my head were those pieces that I've always wanted to do...  and if I was ever going to get the chance... it would be with Newbury Choral.

I started strong by ticking off 'Va Pensiero' in that very first Opera Choruses term.  A nice, relatively easy one to start with, as most of it is in unison across the four voice parts*.  I always loved the little staccato quartets and the sudden dynamic changes.

Quite a long time after... after a year or more of works I didn't love, we did Handel's 'Messiah'.  And woe betide anyone who dared to call it 'The Messiah'!
There are a number of fantastic pieces within 'Messiah', but by far the best, and most exciting to sing is the 'Hallelujah Chorus'.

Then, the next season, it was the most exciting one yet!  Possibly the most dramatic, exciting piece of choral music out there.  'O Fortuna' from 'Carmina Burana'.  Starts quiet, gets MASSIVE.  One of those pieces where, if your vocal chords don't ache at the end, you're doin' it wrong.
1:39 on this recording...  gets me all a fluster.  Then at 1:59, you have to find a little more to ramp up the volume a jump more.  This is the one piece I know of where you teeter right on the edge between singing and screaming.  To sing this, sitting right next to the drums...  Amazing.

Then, I had to leave Newb Choral to move house.  I thought I wouldn't get a chance to do the final piece in my choral bucket list...  But I was wrong.  I was invited back by a friend to take part in a 'Come and Sing' event.  One of the pieces we performed was 'Zadok The Priest'.  Otherwise known as the coronation anthem.  It's just a really beautiful piece and gives you that little burst of patriotic zeal.

With that, I'd ticked off my "big 4" of the pieces I'd always wanted to sing.  I remember doing all 4 so clearly.  Each one was very much a life highlight.  It doesn't get much better to realise as you are singing, that you're in the middle of a bucket list moment.  It's very special.




* When in four voice parts, I was always alto.  When we worked in eight parts, I did alto one, or very occasionally soprano 2.

The fourth Wall

Here is Rolando Villazon (my favourite tenor - watch any interview with him - all round nice guy), breaking the 4th wall* when the audience just won't stop clapping.

* When a performer breaks character to, in some way, acknowledge the presence of the audience, or some other factor outside the realms of the world the character inhabits.


And here is Rolando just being fab, nailing a "The Impossible Dream" duet.  It starts getting awesome from 2:04.  If you can't get a bit mental and OTT during opera, when can you, eh?

Gun Control

(Another cross-posting from an old blog)

It has now been almost a week since the tragic mass-shooting in Newtown, Connecticut.

Listening to all the news reports, it reminded me so much of the shooting that happened in Dunblane, Scotland, in 1996.  I was 11 years old at the time of that shooting, and I remember how shocking and scary it was.

Now though, these events have taken on a different significance for me.  Because, but for a twist of fate, I could have been the teacher of any of those children, both in Dunblane and Newtown.  I teach children in that age group and younger.  I often have sole responsibility for 20+ very young and vulnerable people.  And when these tragic events happen, I find myself thinking about the teachers.  What did they do to protect their children?  And perhaps, what would I do?

An average day at school and no one could ever be prepared for the sound of gun shots somewhere in the building…  It would be an incomprehensible nightmare come true.  I find myself thinking about escape routes in schools I have known, items around the classroom that could become a weapon…  I actually talked that one through with a friend the other day…

Thankfully though, I live in a country where this is an extremely rare event.  But, perhaps most importantly, as a direct result of the Dunblane shooting, within the year, ALL unlicensed cartridge-loading handguns were banned in the UK.  The only guns that remain legal are muzzle-loading and historic handguns.  Security within schools was also tightened and new controls put in place with regard to building access.

Was there public uproar?  No.

Have gun laws relaxed again?  No.

Why couldn’t this work in America?

Well…  To a Brit, so many aspects of life in America, which are so normal to them, are utterly incomprehensible to us.  Be it their attitudes to guns, marriage, health care, social care, religion…  For a country that regards itself as forward thinking and progressive, many of their attitudes seem stuck in the 1700s.  You only have to look at the political parties to realise that… Our Conservative government has a very similar policy to the Liberal government in the States.  Only difference being, that the things President Obama is campaigning for… we’d had sorted out 50 years ago.  Britain basically looks like what America might look like if they manage to hold on to a Liberal government for the next 50 years…

And a (I think) key reason for our liberal nature?  a quarter (roughly) of Brits identify as atheist.  Compared to around 2% of Americans.  Forecasts indicate that by 2018, Christians in the UK will be a minority group.

Should politics be tied to religion?  Absolutely not.

Is politics tied to religion?  In the USA, yes.  In the UK, no.

 

Why can’t the American government outlaw guns?

Because they are scared.

Lobbyists from the NRA are a powerful group in politics.  Essentially, if you want to get elected, it doesn’t hurt to keep the NRA on your side.

This is so many kinds of wrong.

But it works.  Because these are white, upper-middle-class men.

To quote the brilliantly funny Louis CK, “I’m a white, middle class, man.  You can’t even hurt my feelings!”

This group is, worldwide, the most privileged group on earth.

These men say, “You can’t ban guns.  It’s my constitutional right to bear arms!”

Well you know what?  Stuff your constitutional right.  That was written in a time of single-shot muskets that took 4 minutes to re-load, in a time when many American’s lived in a land of untamed, dangerous wilderness.  It was NOT intended for a world of automatic weapons that have the potential to kill 20 unarmed people in less than a minute.  IT WAS NOT.

But what scares me even more?

It was something I saw via an American acquaintance on a blog.  She claimed to have needed a gun “a number of times” in the past month alone to “protect their property”.  HOLY WHAT?  And the way she said it was, like, “no big deal…”  If that had happened in England, it would be a public outrage, front page news and a public enquiry.  Not an attitude of “meh.”  And worse still, this is small-town-America.  It’s a tiny place, quite literally in the middle of nowhere.  It sure isn’t New York or Los Angeles.

And these obviously intelligent, caring, all-round-nice people, just don’t see how crazy that is.  It, quite literally, makes my head explode.

These people are anti-gun-control because they need them to protect their homes… and yet say these burglars/child murderers committed their crimes because of lack of mental health resources and poor parenting…  I mean… wtf?  POOR PARENTING?

And yet, here in the UK, we have problems with mental health resources/care, we have social deprivation and poor parenting…  BUT WE DON’T SELL GUNS IN SUPERMARKETS*.  And because we’ve made it difficult to get hold of guns, we don’t see our children murdered in their classrooms.

Sorry America, but you need to grow some balls and step into the 21^st century.  How many more young people must be sacrificed before someone has the courage to say enough is enough?

Your relationship with guns has become a self-fulfilling prophesy.  Guns are easy to buy, so lots of people have them.  Bad people have them and break into your houses.  Good people need guns to protect themselves from bad people with guns… Luckily it’s easy to buy guns, so lots of people have them…

Get a clue.

 

 

*Seriously, one of the strangest and scariest things I saw in America was racks of guns for sale in Walmart.  The equivalent of Tesco.  Can you imagine how mad it would be to walk into Tescos and be all, "okay... milk... bread... fish... automatic weapons... pasta..."  MADNESS.

Are You Laughing Tonight?

I have found (and it's not just me!), that the older you get, the more you can appreciate little snippets of genius from things that very much aren't of your generation.  Things that your parents/grandparents might have laughed at, you now laugh at as well.

Earlier today I was doing the washing up to the tunes of Radio 2 (I'm old enough for that now ;) ), when this came on.  It's been years since I last heard it, but I was laughing right along with him.

I think we've probably all had that moment of getting hysterical at completely inappropriate moments.

And if it's okay for the King to do it.  I think it's okay for the rest of us!


My 2 other favourite Elvis songs -

Can't Help Falling In Love

 

 

 

Always On My Mind



 



A follow-up from yesterday

(This is a post I made over a year ago, at one of my now-defunct blogs.  It is a post I made about my experiences within fandom.  And considering the flame-war I had yesterday with some randomer, I thought it was time I transferred it over here.  I have added/taken odd bits out for the purpose of updating, but the bulk is as originally written)

Let me just preface with:  I love fandom.  As a social phenomenon, it’s fascinating.

Fandom (consisting of fan [fanatic] plus the suffix -dom, as in kingdom, freedom, etc.) is a term used to refer to a subculture composed of fans characterized by a feeling of sympathy and camaraderie with others who share a common interest. Fans typically are interested in even minor details of the object(s) of their fandom and spend a significant portion of their time and energy involved with their interest, often as a part of a social network with particular practices (a fandom); this is what differentiates “fannish” (fandom-affiliated) fans from those with only a casual interest.

Back in the mid-norties, I was right in the middle of one particular fandom.  That being “the Josh Groban fandom”.  I met many fascinating people.  Many weird people.  Many down-right mental people.  I ran a large and somewhat controversial fan forum on LiveJournal.com, which was aimed at, and populated by, fans of my age (late teens to early 20s).  For a period of about 3 years, within the sphere of my age group (in a fandom largely populated by much older women, mostly nearing or at retirement age), I was reasonably well known figure within my sub-group, and any well-known member within a fandom is able to play a large role in dictating the direction of the fandom, what’s cool, what’s not, who’s in, who’s out.  Should they wish to do so.

And as the fan sub-group closest in age to Josh himself, we had clout.  After all, if Josh wanted a long-term career, it was those fans who were going to grow up with him that were most important.  Not those fans currently in their 60/70/80s.  Because, let’s face it, in not so many years, they were no longer going to be able to be serious economic contributors towards maintaining his career.  It was those of us, in his age bracket that would ultimately keep this ship sailing.

Looking back, do I think his management have always targeted him effectively?  And at the right markets?  Nope.

Did us 20-something fans miss the opportunity to exercise a real voice within the fandom?  Yes.  Reason?  We were too young to realise we had a voice worth listening to.

Anyway…

This went on until around 2009, where “real grown up life” started to happen and I just didn’t have the time, resources, inclination to care much any more.  As a result, because myself, and my peers in the forum, were growing up and out of fandom, the forum pretty much died.  We went from up to 10 posts a day to zero in the space of 18 months.

Then I discovered Tim Minchin.

Now though, I am older, somewhat wiser, with a much more skeptical head on my shoulders.  I won’t get into the whys and wherefores of why Minchin is awesome (that’s what YouTube is for), so let’s just assume that he is.

Now though, I have the inside track on fandom.  I know how it works.  I may be new to the Tim Minchin fandom, but I’ve been round the block enough times as a big-time-fan to know how the shit undoubtedly goes down on any forum.  I know this because THEY ARE ALL THE SAME.  Seriously.
Spend enough time in one fandom, transfer to any other, and you’ll quickly realize that you just need to replace a few names and you’ve got the same thing.

I really don’t need to do the fannish thing any more.  I’ve been there, done that, and quite literally “have the t-shirt”, and don’t have any desire to watch it all go down again.  This time around I’m completely content to watch as something of an outsider.

Today, this kicked off.

Tim, in his infinite wisdom posted this to Twitter.

“I signed (I inserted – autographs, posed for pics, chatted after) every gig for 5 yrs. Happily. But now I choose not to. I’ve never met someone I’m a fan of, nor expected to.”

Oh ho.  Cue indignant tears.

The type of “I owe him my life…!  I just want to thank him…”

Oh purleeez.

I advise a swift course of “getting out more”.  That’ll see you straight.

I watched and read the shit-storm with interest…  To be fair to the fandom, most people responded with humility and resignation.  People who pulled the “but he owes us!” card were shot down pretty quickly.

Now…  Here I hold my hands up.  I can be something of a trouble-maker on the internet.  I deliberately like to flit through threads online, such as this, posting slightly provocative comments, to see the response I get.  I choose my words extremely carefully.  And went with this:

“I’ve been a Tim fan just over a year now (having discovered him on the Comedy Prom). I’ve never met him, or even had a chance to go to one of his shows…

Yeah, I love his music, he makes me laugh out loud, I think he’s incredibly talented in areas that keep surprising me often, I think he’s easy on the eye, and he’s given me an awful lot to think about in terms of science and religion, which has helped me to define my own views.
I enjoy so much of what Tim does because, just by chance, he does lots of things and has lots of characteristics that appeal to me. Mostly his musical talent, comedic timing and massively articulate brain. At the same time though, he’s done stuff I wasn’t that excited by.
While I’d have loved to have seen Tim live, it just hasn’t been possible because Real Life gets in the way. For instance, for me to travel to Birmingham to see him in JCS, I wouldn’t have got any change from £100+. That might be small change to some, but for me at the moment, that’s the difference between being able to pay my bills and not. Yes, that is disappointing, but not Tim’s problem. He doesn’t owe me anything. He could probably quit his career tomorrow and live quite comfortably. He doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, or owe “fans” anything either. If he wants to sign autographs after a show, great. If he doesn’t, okay. Yes, it would be great to have a chance to chat to Tim about all kinds of things, but that isn’t going to happen. I’m personally not too interested in rushed scribbles/photos at stage doors late at night. I’d rather go home to my warm bed and reflect on an evening of being thoroughly entertained.

That being said, I think EVERYONE goes through a stage of being a “Super fan!” at some point in their lives. They put a certain performer up on a “can do no wrong” pedestal and find themselves all-consumed in the world of “fandom”. I’ve been there myself. 4-5 years ago I was a MASSIVE fan of the American singer Josh Groban. Like, “go to all the gigs I could, wait at the stage door until midnight” type fan. Yes, I ended up with a few photographs, autographs, fun memories. In fact he recognised me when I saw him last year in Birmingham, which was funny. 5 years ago I would have FREAKED THE F**K OUT at being recognised by the subject of my adoration. But times change, I changed. When I was recognised, I was just like “Cool” That’s all.
It’s TOTALLY okay to be a Tim super-fan, and if I hadn’t already done it, and got it out of my system with Josh Groban, I’d probably be right with you on being sad over this.

But you know what? Just enjoy what you can, get what you can from your experiences and focus on the stuff in your life that is “real”. As awesome as Tim is, he’s just a regular guy who just happens to be quite famous now. He’s just getting on with his real life, as we need to do with ours. We have every right to have our needs respected, and so we need to be able to offer Tim that right. And if his needs for the moment are just to be left alone after a show for a few months/years, then we need to respect his right to do that.
Yes, you are entitled completely to feel disappointed, but that’s not Tim’s problem. Nor should we expect it to be.”

Followed up with:

“For what it’s worth, I’m not excusing his tweet.

Was it a bad idea? Probably.
Should he not have said anything? Possibly.
Does it read a bit passive-aggressive? A bit.
Does he come off sounding a bit of a dick? Kinda.

But his intention and his desire still stands.”

Finally:

“It must be frustrating for him to read Tweets from moaners. So I can imagine him responding in a fit of annoyance. Not really considering the fact too well, that although there are some dicky people who will moan at anything, there are a lot of fans (like the guys here) who just wanna say “thanks, I really enjoyed that.”

I think it also wouldn’t do any harm for people here to remember that, by the very fact that we write on a fan forum, we are the more “serious” fans, with a lot more personal investment in Tim and his career. I’d actually be interested in knowing the stats on… for instance… the audience of the Heritage Orchestra DVD… how many of them have ever even read this forum? I’m going to take a stab and say that it’s probably vanishingly small. Then times that by all the audiences he sees over the course of a year… Those “fannish” enough to post on a fan forum, possibly do not represent the majority of people who identify as “Tim Minchin fans”. So we have to bare in mind that our responses to anything from Tim are potentially more extreme than the majority.”

It is incredibly interesting to observe a fandom from a more outside position and to be able to comment objectively.

Seriously though, I’d love to carry out that audience survey I mentioned above.  I think it would be fascinating.

And please, if you aren’t familiar with Tim Minchin’s work and identify as an atheist or skeptic, please do look up his work.  Good places to start with might be “The Good Book”, “Thank You God” or “Storm”.  All of which can be found on YouTube.

And if you should ever happen to meet Tim at a signing, please do tell him I said hi.

Cheers.